You see that incredibly cute little girl? That’s my daughter. Makenna Lee Smith. She is my firstborn. Born on June 1st, 2007. She will have an incredibly cute little brother OR sister in March 2013(TBA). I will get to that one soon enough.
Makenna is so much like me even at the age of 5 that I am both amazed and bothered. Her actions show both the good in me and the bad in me. I am 28 years old and sometimes I act like my 5 year old? Sadly, yes. Makenna is teaching me so much about my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I am learning about grace and discipline and judgment. I am learning this at home. Not at work & not behind a pulpit.
Maybe Paul’s words in 1st Timothy 3:2-5 holds a mystery that few pastors would ever admit to. Verses 4 and 5 say this, “He must manage his own family well, having children who respect and obey him. For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God’s church”? When I look at Makenna I have to look at myself. When I look at myself I have to be honest with myself. Only then will my communication be honest with God. It’s hard to manage your family when you can’t manage yourself, and if you can’t manage yourself, you can’t manage your family, and when you can’t manage your family you can’t manage God’s church, and if you can’t manage God’s church you need to go back home to your family.
I didn’t learn this lesson at church. I learned it at home getting Makenna dressed to go to school, fixing her hair(Ponytail=Dads best friend), and giving her a bath. Maybe I will learn more about becoming a student pastor at home than I will at church. Family matters. Maybe that is Paul’s hidden revelation. If we can get it together at our house we can get it together at His.
I’m no fool. My daughter is currently 5 years old and we got one in the oven. I can’t even imagine what I will be learning 10-15 years from now when they become teenagers. This is what I do know. I’ll be in MY house to find out and then I will come to His house to tell people how to deal with it.
Note to self: Try to Spend 50% of my time at home and 50% of my time at church/work. Let God handle 100%.
Thank you Makenna Lee, Daddy loves you!